A Reflection on Life, Hope and Crafting

When I started this blog, I thought that I would be able to post far more frequently. After all, I love writing, so it isn’t a burden to me to sit down and write several hundred or even a thousand words. But I have been living in a very difficult season of life.

Back in 2021, I had my baby. After that, I was on mat leave for 18 months and from that 18 month date till September 2025, I only worked part time. It was really wonderful. I was at home with my son, living life at a slower pace, raising him, playing with him, taking care of the home, and life was very balanced and manageable. Unfortunately, due to finances, I had to return to work full time and I knew it would be challenging. I hadn’t worked full time in five years, and heading back into my highly stressful teaching job was not something I was fully happy about, though I was happy to be supporting my husband in supporting us.

So let’s come back to the present moment where I can tell you these past ten months have been so difficult. It’s hard to describe how bad it’s been for me. I have been worn down for months and even though I’ve taken a lot of steps to mitigate the extreme effects of the stress I’ve been experiencing, it has still been far more difficult than I anticipated. I wasn’t expecting to be given the kind of heavy work load I was given this year in my job–or I should say jobs, as I have three different roles at my school. I wasn’t expecting the day to day work schedule to be so unbalanced. I wasn’t expecting to be so stressed that I would develop a very bad case of TMJ, or for my body to be constantly on red alert.

It’s been rough.

My husband has been a great support and now that I’ve described some of the backstory and experience, let me dive into the meat and potatoes of this post, which is about crafting and creativity.

Staying Hopeful with Crochet

I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t feel very ill used by those at work, or angry about my situation. There was a period where I truly felt that I once I came home I had to conserve as much energy as possible just to go to work again the next day. Or on Monday, because by Friday I felt like a limp, wet rag. I brought a lot of my troubles to the Lord, I prayed, but there was a a period where I was becoming a little unglued. To use a phrase that is becoming popularized, I was not okay.

But crocheting became something rhythmical and beautiful in a time where I felt like I couldn’t even look up at the beauty of God’s creation as fall changed into winter. For weeks, I crocheted an enormous blanket I hoped would be an heirloom blanket for our family, in lovely colouring changing yarns. The easy stitches, the ever changing colours, gave me hope that this horrible feeling of being trapped in a job that was draining my physical strength and preying on my mind and emotions, gave me hope. I was better able to remind myself to turn to God through this creative process of making.

Learning a New Craft In a Difficult Season

Some time in the new year, when I felt a little better again, I decided to pick up knitting again. I have been teaching myself knitting on and off for about two years now, and I thought it would be really good to get back into something I really wanted to learn and get better at. So I picked up my knitting, reminded myself of techniques I had sort of forgotten about, and set about knitting.

Learning something new, doing something that wasn’t as automatic as crochet, also gave me hope. I haven’t had a lot of power brain since September to expend on more complex crochet projects, so after a while, working on things that were easy got a little boring, even if completing a lot of finished pieces felt rewarding. So being able to switch gears a little creatively heightened my sense of being more than a cog in a wheel. It reminded me that I am a daughter of God, that I’m more than just a worker. I am deeply loved by the Lord, even if those at my place of work where I spend a lot of time, don’t value me. I don’t need them to value them. The Lord called me to be a teacher, and I was being the best teacher I could be given my circumstances. The judgement of others didn’t matter.

It’s funny what you will realize while crafting.

Hope in the Small Moments

While crafting offered me hope, and calmed my nervous system too, I knew it was the Lord who was really doing all the heavy lifting. And in those days and hours when I was too tired to enjoy my home or family, I would often find a reason to smile and to laugh and despite my exhaustion, to enjoy myself. There was hope even in the little moments.

Being creative has always been an outlet of emotion for me. It’s always been the way that I calm down my racing mind and reduce feelings of anxiety in the body. It has always been a form of self care, always given me something to look forward to doing after doing the unpleasant things that one must do in life. But these past ten months haven’t just been me doing unpleasant things like cleaning toilets or going to work when I really want to sleep in. It has been a greater hardship than that, one that has affected me on every level that I can think of, and was in fact such a hardship that it could have put a strain on my marriage because it has been one of those times in life when the world is asking too much of a body and soul. It was truly a time of suffering for me.

So I thank God for making me creative because that creativity has been a lifeline not only to my mental health, but to Him.

Crafting gives hope to many of the brokenhearted. When we create with our hands we are reminded that we have a purpose, that others value and love us, that we have something to give those around us even when we feel we do not. Creativity is expressed in many forms–through the paintbrush, the pen, in dance and song, and with your yarn. All these creative forms offer us hope and transform those who suffer through that hope–hopefully bringing them closer to God too, for He loves us all.

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