I’m in a new season of life–a short season called summer, where I don’t have to go to work. I eagerly awaited the end of the school year this spring; it had been such a challenging school year for me as a teacher. And all I wanted was to be home so I could rest and focus on my family.
I’m so glad I’m in this season, at home with my family. But I’d be lying if I pretended that I am not kinda overwhelmed now that I am.
Homemaking is a wonderful vocation and one that often gets overlooked. But the truth is, homemaking is hard work, it’s important work and homemaking can become overwhelming.
Messes Overwhelm Homemakers
When you are homemaker, especially a homemaker and a mother, I think that messes and dirt are the biggest trigger. Toys all over my living room, baskets of laundry to put away, are making me feel both utterly exhausted and as though I’ll never get anything done.
Homemaking often makes homemakers feel overwhelmed. Homemaking is overwhelming.
Because I’ve washed and put the clothes away not four days ago. And I picked up and tidied up those toys yesterday. I feel as though since these tasks need doing more often than others that I am never going to get on to other tasks I want to tackle.
Therefore I am feeling like the home and homemaking is too much for me and it’s making me a little–I’ve said it a few times now–overwhelmed.
Likely many homemakers have felt the exact same way. Taking care of the home is a big task, one that can feel thankless, especially when you work so hard to tidy and make the space cozy and by the end of the day (or worse, ten minutes after you’ve finished) some member of your family comes along and turns the whole area into a mess again.
This is where homemakers start to grumble.
“Put your dishes away!”
“You just tracked mud through the kitchen!”
“I’m going to throw those legos out if you don’t put them away!”
“No one ever helps me around here.”
“I am not a maid you know.”
You know exactly what I am talking about. So what is a homemaker to do?
Pause, and Give Everyone Grace
Grace is the free, unearned, and undeserved favour of God. If God can give us favour when we are such sinners, then I think we offer a little grace to our family for leaving some dishes in the sink. When messes are made in the kitchen, remember that your family is being fed. Those toys won’t be all over your house one day, children are only little for so long.
Giving grace in this way is going to change your heart posture. You’ll likely feel less like a maid and more like a woman who is blessed.
Does this mean your children should be given free rein to leave messes everywhere, or that you should pick up after everyone? Absolutely not.
Suggested for You: Creating a Welcoming and Inviting Home
How to Minimize the Overwhelm
Some homemakers have systems for tidying–every child tackles a corner of a messy room to put the toys away for instance. Some prefer a toy rotation system so that there is less toys to tidy and children are more engaged. I have a friend who has taught her boys from a young age that no dirty dish is to be left in her sink (though I think her method didn’t really offer them much in the way of grace) and now has grown sons heading off to college who more or less keep her kitchen tidy.
However you chose to tackle it, you and your family can work together so that your daily tasks can be simplified and so that overwhelm due to mess and dirt is minimized. When you have a young family, this can be hard. I have only one young child and the amount of mess he leaves around astounds me–what must two or three or even kids make in the way of mess and disorganization? But homemakers can minimize the mess through
- toy rotation systems
- chore schedules for the family
- decluttering what isn’t needed
- tidying things season to season
- ten minute clean ups at the end of an afternoon
- nightly re-sets
- clearing flat surfaces like islands in the kitchen
- have baskets or bins to help you gather and put away clutter/toys
- meal prep by meal planning or having veggies chopped for easy to cook meals
- everything has a home and is returned to it immediately after use
There are even more micro-cleaning habits and hacks you can adopt, like tidying as you clean (tossing unusable veggie bits into the trash, placing used dishes and bowls into the dishwasher etc) to help you stay on top of the mess and cleaning as well.
Comfort Vs Perfection
Whatever you choose to do, simple systems and habits will help you minimize that overwhelm as well as the knowledge that your home isn’t about perfection. It’s not a show room. It’s a place where your family lives, makes memories in and grows. Messes are normal. But they don’t last forever.
We can’t give up our home being a place of comfort and rest where children can do fun things, be themselves without worrying about upsetting the homemaker because a throw pillow is out of place. Tidying up pillow forts might get tiresome, but when your own children fondly recall the pillow forts when you are grandmother, you’ll likely have forgotten about the irritation of the messy sofa.
What I mean is, the feeling that homemaking is overwhelming is temporary. It might take longer than you want, or last less time than you’d like to do, but the home will be put in order, so feeling out of control over a few toys or dirty dishes really doesn’t make a lot of sense. Give your family–and yourself–some grace. Let the kids tidy the muddy floor without too much reprimand, and put on the tea kettle while they do it too. Homemakers are not drudges, and nor should we be nags.
Your home is a comfort to you and yours, so don’t let the overwhelm turn your home (and homemaking) into anything other than that.
What kind of systems do you use to minimize the overwhelm? Share in the comments!